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Dirty Work

Dirty Work

We love setting big goals. It’s easy to dream big: imagine the perfect outcome, visualize success, and aim for the moon — "because even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars," right? But what happens when those dreams stall? When your motivation...

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Never Mind Those Details

Never Mind Those Details

I never intended to start a nonprofit business. I intended to run across America for my mother, who was living with MS, and raise $500,000 for charity while finding sponsors to fund the motorhome, gas, food and lodging for the entire venture. I was twenty-four years...

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Quiet Truths

Quiet Truths

I was in the last set of a 20 minute workout –10 pull-ups, followed by a 14-pound medicine ball toss to a nine-foot target 20 times, followed by 30 calories on the rower. All that four times over within twenty minutes. Or, that was the goal and I was deep in it. Deep...

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Standing in the Crowd

Standing in the Crowd

Forged is a word that keeps coming up for me this week. As in, sturdy; fortified; tested. That’s how I feel about myself now. Stronger. I Googled the word for its meaning because I love to know the root of words and names. “Copied fraudulently; fake.” I winced....

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Touching The Sun

Touching The Sun

I am growing. I feel it in my thoughts and actions. I can’t say that I’ve always welcomed it, because its come from difficult challenges, but I can’t deny the results. And in acceptance I wonder if this growth is exactly what is needed for what’s ahead. I know it is....

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On Being

On Being

In the twilight hours of a Saturday morning I raged at God, calling him an unyielding bitch. I told him that I didn’t care that his ways are greater than mine; I didn’t give a fuck about his ways. I wanted what I wanted. I wanted my niece to live. Twenty miles north...

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Swimming with the Current

Swimming with the Current

I slept on a velour futon couch for six months. The sofa was located inside a 1994 Ford A-class motorhome. You know the kind—one of those bus type vehicles with a massive picture window at the front that you see driving down the interstate with a pair of retired folk...

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Pecking Away

Pecking Away

Hello. Hi there. How was your summer? You may have noticed (or you may not have) but I disappeared for a short time. Did you miss me? It’s okay, I missed you too! But it was summer, after all, and all three of my adorable, all-consuming children were home from school....

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The Quest for a Title

The Quest for a Title

Okay, okay. In my opinion, y’all crushed the Title Quest! Thank you to those who sent me a title (or a few) to consider for my book. Two of you even dropped my book details into an AI chat and got some really good and interesting results, which is something I would...

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Title Queen

Title Queen

All of the titles I’ve offered for my book are “Meh. Sorry”. All of them. Like, my brain dump of every good title that I can think so far of for my memoir are just meh?  Okay, fine. I don’t have an ego about this. I don’t have to be the title queen (but ALL of...

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Dancing in the Kitchen

Dancing in the Kitchen

Sweet relief. I am feeling good.  I can clearly see that I am not a troll. It’s obvious. Look at how bright I am! Then I browse through drafts of entries I wrote last month in a plateau—a familiar descent—and think, “Ew, Ashley. What’s with all the stiff...

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Ignoring the Cold

Ignoring the Cold

“We should do a playdate!” The cheerful red-headed woman said brightly, cornering me at pre-school pick up. “My daughter just loves your daughter Primrose.” I knew what she said was true because everyone loved my daughter Primrose, and Primrose loved...

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Deep In It

Deep In It

I’m struggling to think of what to say. I’ve made commitments–to myself, to my family, to my nonprofit, to my book. Have I just opened another can of worms that I don’t have the capacity to manage by starting a Substack?  The easy thing to do would be to skip this...

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